Friday Flash – Something Blue

I’ve taken this flash down as it’s now been accepted for publication!

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75 Responses to “Friday Flash – Something Blue”

  1. Sam Adamson Says:

    Stunning! You had me thinking all sorts as I read this, I was convinced right up to the end it was the groom who hadn’t showed. Introducing the broken watch at just the right time stopped me dead in my tracks (no pun intended). The pacing’s spot-on and the reveal is masterful.

  2. Another stunning twist. I wish I had the capacity to introduce so skilfully. Hurrah for Icy!

  3. A skillful twist. When you started off with Mansfield and Tom, I wondered if you were doing an Austen pastiche. Then I wondered if she’d been stood up — such a snob. Am I right in assuming that the appearance of a corpse bride caused the assembly to go awry and thus the broken cake, etc?

    • I’m actually a bit sick – Mansfield was a reference to Jayne Mansfield, who died in a car accident. The cake’s not broken except for the lurching couple on the top, and that was just to symbolise the fact the wedding never happened.

  4. L.M. Stull Says:

    Oooh! Very nice twist!

  5. Oh, the poor husband to be! Nice twist. The broken watch and blue feet really did it. Nicely done.

  6. So mysterious and dreamlike. I was seeing a young Miss Havisham right up until the reveal. The sense of dread and the pace were spot on.

  7. Wow, I didn’t see it comingโ€ฆย the cracked watch got me wondering if it might have been her that died, butโ€ฆย you’re a master of this art form, Icy. That’s all I can say.

  8. I love it! You had my mind going all different directions right up to the end.

  9. Excellant twistage ๐Ÿ™‚ Enjoyed very much, thank you x

  10. Deanna Schrayer Says:

    As everyone else said, this is absolutely masterful Icy! I too had different ideas as I read, only to be pushed away by yet another idea, but none of them was the twist you gave us – Bravo!

  11. A chilling yet beautiful piece. Well done, as always! =D

  12. You certainly got me. I was thinking she’d been jilted. Nice switch, Icy!

  13. Great detail and super twist. I love the “Well it would have done,” and “Only it never happened” – they really raise intrique and add a spine tingling wonder.

  14. Wow! I did not see that coming. I assumed she’d been jilted for being a stuck-up cow! Brilliant, it sent shivers down my spine at the end.

  15. ooh cold feet, that was a punch to the solar plexus. Very nice. Great to hear you read it too

  16. What a tremendous story.
    It had me guessing right up until that great twist at the end.

  17. Wonderful story. So sad for her.

  18. I did not see that ending coming. It’s perfect! Just perfect!

  19. Oh, skillful,skillful.

    One does wonder though if the accident wasn’t some kind of poetic payback for her snobbishness concernig her sister.

    I think I would have preferred Sharon’s ‘DO’ anyway.

    Nice work Icy. ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. Oh, bugga! I just noticed my Typo… ^^^ should be ‘concerning’ Sorry. ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. Fantastic job, Icy. You’re an amazing storyteller. The tone, the pacing, the phrasing–lovely job as always.

  22. Very nice, as always, Icy. Even though she, er, didn’t show she still takes a certain amount of pride in her would-be wedding being better.

  23. I didn’t see that coming either! Loved the contrast of her high expectations with her friend’s cheap (and accomplished) wedding. It gives all the more a sour taste to the tale.

  24. Jason Coggins Says:

    Man, I can’t stand Bridezillas so come the pay-off no sympathy from JC was forthcoming for her. If I was compelled to attend a wedding I’d be on the dance floor with uncle Noddy, the remains of sticky glazed doughnuts smudged around my face. Wonderful subversion of the dream-wedding myth sold to women the world over, Icy.

    • I’ve been engaged twice and plan for wedding #1 was Vegas, while plan for wedding #2 was simple registry office. Plan for #3 is yet to be finalised, mainly owing to the lack of a groom. So yeah, in your face, over the top weddings!

  25. I didn’t see the ending coming at all – there was a real sense of bitterness about this would-be bride and how she was putting down her friend who did get married and yet wasn’t brave enough to take the plunge herself. Great descriptive writing, you created a real visual here for me.

    • I can’t help wondering why she was so bitter about Sharon’s wedding, if she was just bitter because she lost out on her own, or if she secretly suspects that her sister’s was more fun.

  26. I love how you can shift your voice as a writer. From last weeks to this I just find it amazing.

    There was line though I took offense to: “trying to dance to something atrocious by Lady Gaga.” First of all, nobody tries to dance to the Lady, you just do. Second, she has the Midas touch of music. She could fart, it would be awesome, and I would dance to it…that is all ๐Ÿ˜›

  27. Icy, I loved the contrast you established between the two weddings. But then you revealed a master stroke with the reveal at the end. Brilliant.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  28. Crikey, so many comments! I got the feeling that she would have taken ANY wedding, even her sister’s low-key and down-market version. If it’s Miss Havisham you like Icy,have you read any of the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde?

  29. Very eerie, Icy. At one point, I wondered about her being dead, and then you dropped in that watch and everythig became clear. The descriptions were vivid, the story engaging. Well done.

  30. Excellent, as always, Icy! I love your morbid little tales!

  31. I did pick up on the clues, though they were very subtly threaded, I guess it’s because I write the same sort of thing and you become attuned. However it didn’t even matter. The most difficult thing with these sort of endings is to make the reader take a sharp breath and even shock them if they have seen the signposts. You achieved this with great power by the use of powerful imagery and a sharp reversal in the last few lines.

    I really enjoyed this and think your use of several twist devices made it much stronger than the usual last line reversal technique. I think it’s one of the best twist stories I’ve read in a while to be honest.

    Looking forward to being chilled and shocked by more.
    Tony

  32. clarekirkpatrick Says:

    Wow, that was chilling.

  33. You end up feeling for her, even though she seems a little too narcissistic comparing herself to her sister’s wedding. At first I suspected she’d been stood up, but this leaves sadness for both her and the groom she left behind.

    • She’s incredibly snobby in a lot of ways, but I think she’s envious because despite all that, she still didn’t get to experience a wedding herself.

  34. laradunning Says:

    I had never heard about the watch thing. It was definately bad luck for her. I liked that her snobbiness wasn’t over the top, just the right amount to make you still care for her. Clever suspense leading up to a hint, and then another hint and then the shocker of what really happened. Poor girl!

    • I just made it up based on the fact that you never see brides wear watches at weddings! It sounded like the kind of random superstition that goes with weddings though.

  35. Brilliant – just brilliant. I didnt realise anything awful had stopped the wedding until you mention the broken watch, but you had me pulled in right from the beginning with the competive edge against her sister – I’m similar with my sister. Great peice

    • I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Thankfully I’m not competitive with my brother but I’ve seen it between siblings before, and even friends – especially where weddings are concerned!

  36. Great tale… like so many of the other commenters, I was convinced of a jilted bride… until the watch. Great pacing and splendid twist!

  37. Oh, this is so well done. All through I was going “What the…?” The most likely answer was the groom’s family intervened and packed him off out of range of greengrocer’s daughters.

    There was just the barest hint regarding the watch being unlucky – and then the accident landed front and center.

    Breathtaking. Really well done.

  38. Turned blue from bloodloss and disappointment. What a tragedy of heels and proposals.

  39. Nice one, Icy — entertaining read, evocative details, and well-executed surprise ending (the little asides were suitably engaging but not a give away). Not necessarily the most likeable person in the world, so the ending just that bit more acceptable. Liked your use of something blue… ew.

    St.

  40. […] for a particularly dashing Cavalier known as Fowlis Westerby, but I’m not averse to writing corpse brides either. A few weeks ago I decided to resurrect the skeleton from the B-Movie Monster graveyard, […]

  41. […] to the maintenance outage that left Blogger down, I put this week’s Friday Flash, Something Blue, over on my secondary blog – my mild OCD didn’t want me to miss a Friday […]

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