Friday Flash – Something Blue
I’ve taken this flash down as it’s now been accepted for publication!
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I’ve taken this flash down as it’s now been accepted for publication!
Cinema d' Icy 
May 13, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Stunning! You had me thinking all sorts as I read this, I was convinced right up to the end it was the groom who hadn’t showed. Introducing the broken watch at just the right time stopped me dead in my tracks (no pun intended). The pacing’s spot-on and the reveal is masterful.
May 13, 2011 at 12:15 pm
I was hoping people would think she’d just been left at the altar so I’m glad I pulled that off.
May 13, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Another stunning twist. I wish I had the capacity to introduce so skilfully. Hurrah for Icy!
May 13, 2011 at 12:15 pm
It’s just something you learn!
May 13, 2011 at 12:20 pm
A skillful twist. When you started off with Mansfield and Tom, I wondered if you were doing an Austen pastiche. Then I wondered if she’d been stood up — such a snob. Am I right in assuming that the appearance of a corpse bride caused the assembly to go awry and thus the broken cake, etc?
May 13, 2011 at 12:26 pm
I’m actually a bit sick – Mansfield was a reference to Jayne Mansfield, who died in a car accident. The cake’s not broken except for the lurching couple on the top, and that was just to symbolise the fact the wedding never happened.
May 13, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Oooh! Very nice twist!
May 13, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I do love my twist endings. Shove over, Shymalan, I want a go!
May 13, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Oh, the poor husband to be! Nice twist. The broken watch and blue feet really did it. Nicely done.
May 13, 2011 at 1:53 pm
I had the last line first, and worked out the story backwards.
May 13, 2011 at 1:57 pm
So mysterious and dreamlike. I was seeing a young Miss Havisham right up until the reveal. The sense of dread and the pace were spot on.
May 13, 2011 at 2:12 pm
I’ve got a bit of a weird fascination with Miss Havisham.
May 13, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Wow, I didn’t see it coming… the cracked watch got me wondering if it might have been her that died, but… you’re a master of this art form, Icy. That’s all I can say.
May 13, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Jeepers! *blush* Thank you.
May 13, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I love it! You had my mind going all different directions right up to the end.
May 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm
I’m glad you liked it! I do love a spot of misdirection.
May 13, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Excellant twistage 🙂 Enjoyed very much, thank you x
May 13, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Aw, thank you, Em! *beams*
May 13, 2011 at 3:56 pm
As everyone else said, this is absolutely masterful Icy! I too had different ideas as I read, only to be pushed away by yet another idea, but none of them was the twist you gave us – Bravo!
May 13, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Thanks! I’m really glad you enjoyed it! I’m also now very glad I set up this blog so I had somewhere to put it!
May 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm
A chilling yet beautiful piece. Well done, as always! =D
May 13, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Thank you! I rather enjoy writing chillers.
May 13, 2011 at 4:20 pm
You certainly got me. I was thinking she’d been jilted. Nice switch, Icy!
May 13, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I actually started from the last line and worked backwards, so theoretically the twist comes at the beginning!
May 13, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Great detail and super twist. I love the “Well it would have done,” and “Only it never happened” – they really raise intrique and add a spine tingling wonder.
May 13, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
May 13, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Wow! I did not see that coming. I assumed she’d been jilted for being a stuck-up cow! Brilliant, it sent shivers down my spine at the end.
May 13, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Yeah, she’s a bit of a snob…nowt wrong with M&S!! All these ghost stuff I’m doing is making me write chillers…
May 13, 2011 at 5:46 pm
ooh cold feet, that was a punch to the solar plexus. Very nice. Great to hear you read it too
May 13, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Yes, even someone as schlocky as me likes to play with language 😉
May 13, 2011 at 6:19 pm
What a tremendous story.
It had me guessing right up until that great twist at the end.
May 13, 2011 at 8:58 pm
I’m glad you liked it 🙂
May 13, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Wonderful story. So sad for her.
May 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm
It shows what kind of person I am – once I wrote the bit about the watch, I suddenly felt sorry for Christine who wouldn’t get it back!
May 13, 2011 at 8:03 pm
I did not see that ending coming. It’s perfect! Just perfect!
May 13, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Oh, skillful,skillful.
One does wonder though if the accident wasn’t some kind of poetic payback for her snobbishness concernig her sister.
I think I would have preferred Sharon’s ‘DO’ anyway.
Nice work Icy. 🙂
May 13, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I’ve been to several wedding receptions and the best one was the one where the couple had laid on a sweetie pick’n’mix!
May 13, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Oh, bugga! I just noticed my Typo… ^^^ should be ‘concerning’ Sorry. 🙂
May 13, 2011 at 9:41 pm
Fantastic job, Icy. You’re an amazing storyteller. The tone, the pacing, the phrasing–lovely job as always.
May 13, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Very nice, as always, Icy. Even though she, er, didn’t show she still takes a certain amount of pride in her would-be wedding being better.
May 14, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Silly girl has a lot to learn about humility. Oh well, she’s got plenty of time in which to learn it…
May 13, 2011 at 11:05 pm
I didn’t see that coming either! Loved the contrast of her high expectations with her friend’s cheap (and accomplished) wedding. It gives all the more a sour taste to the tale.
May 14, 2011 at 8:48 pm
Exactly – Sharon managed to actually have her wedding, and it sounded like fun. My narrator doesn’t even know half of her guests!
May 13, 2011 at 11:10 pm
Man, I can’t stand Bridezillas so come the pay-off no sympathy from JC was forthcoming for her. If I was compelled to attend a wedding I’d be on the dance floor with uncle Noddy, the remains of sticky glazed doughnuts smudged around my face. Wonderful subversion of the dream-wedding myth sold to women the world over, Icy.
May 14, 2011 at 8:50 pm
I’ve been engaged twice and plan for wedding #1 was Vegas, while plan for wedding #2 was simple registry office. Plan for #3 is yet to be finalised, mainly owing to the lack of a groom. So yeah, in your face, over the top weddings!
May 14, 2011 at 4:18 am
I didn’t see the ending coming at all – there was a real sense of bitterness about this would-be bride and how she was putting down her friend who did get married and yet wasn’t brave enough to take the plunge herself. Great descriptive writing, you created a real visual here for me.
May 14, 2011 at 8:51 pm
I can’t help wondering why she was so bitter about Sharon’s wedding, if she was just bitter because she lost out on her own, or if she secretly suspects that her sister’s was more fun.
May 14, 2011 at 6:23 am
I love how you can shift your voice as a writer. From last weeks to this I just find it amazing.
There was line though I took offense to: “trying to dance to something atrocious by Lady Gaga.” First of all, nobody tries to dance to the Lady, you just do. Second, she has the Midas touch of music. She could fart, it would be awesome, and I would dance to it…that is all 😛
May 14, 2011 at 8:52 pm
The views offered by my characters cannot be mistaken for my own…except in this case because I am no fan of Gaga.
May 14, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Icy, I loved the contrast you established between the two weddings. But then you revealed a master stroke with the reveal at the end. Brilliant.
Adam B @revhappiness
May 14, 2011 at 8:56 pm
Thank you 🙂
May 14, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Crikey, so many comments! I got the feeling that she would have taken ANY wedding, even her sister’s low-key and down-market version. If it’s Miss Havisham you like Icy,have you read any of the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde?
May 14, 2011 at 9:02 pm
I have!! I love his Miss Havisham. She’s fantastic. I thought I’d never find anyone else who’d read them!
May 14, 2011 at 1:10 pm
Very eerie, Icy. At one point, I wondered about her being dead, and then you dropped in that watch and everythig became clear. The descriptions were vivid, the story engaging. Well done.
May 14, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Glad you liked it.
May 14, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Excellent, as always, Icy! I love your morbid little tales!
May 14, 2011 at 10:11 pm
Thanks, Laura!
May 15, 2011 at 10:38 am
I did pick up on the clues, though they were very subtly threaded, I guess it’s because I write the same sort of thing and you become attuned. However it didn’t even matter. The most difficult thing with these sort of endings is to make the reader take a sharp breath and even shock them if they have seen the signposts. You achieved this with great power by the use of powerful imagery and a sharp reversal in the last few lines.
I really enjoyed this and think your use of several twist devices made it much stronger than the usual last line reversal technique. I think it’s one of the best twist stories I’ve read in a while to be honest.
Looking forward to being chilled and shocked by more.
Tony
May 15, 2011 at 6:30 pm
I’m very glad that you enjoyed it, especially if you’re used to the particular devices used.
May 15, 2011 at 10:51 am
Wow, that was chilling.
May 15, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Thanks! I do love a good chiller.
May 15, 2011 at 3:26 pm
You end up feeling for her, even though she seems a little too narcissistic comparing herself to her sister’s wedding. At first I suspected she’d been stood up, but this leaves sadness for both her and the groom she left behind.
May 15, 2011 at 6:38 pm
She’s incredibly snobby in a lot of ways, but I think she’s envious because despite all that, she still didn’t get to experience a wedding herself.
May 15, 2011 at 3:30 pm
I had never heard about the watch thing. It was definately bad luck for her. I liked that her snobbiness wasn’t over the top, just the right amount to make you still care for her. Clever suspense leading up to a hint, and then another hint and then the shocker of what really happened. Poor girl!
May 15, 2011 at 6:40 pm
I just made it up based on the fact that you never see brides wear watches at weddings! It sounded like the kind of random superstition that goes with weddings though.
May 15, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Brilliant – just brilliant. I didnt realise anything awful had stopped the wedding until you mention the broken watch, but you had me pulled in right from the beginning with the competive edge against her sister – I’m similar with my sister. Great peice
May 15, 2011 at 6:46 pm
I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Thankfully I’m not competitive with my brother but I’ve seen it between siblings before, and even friends – especially where weddings are concerned!
May 15, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Great tale… like so many of the other commenters, I was convinced of a jilted bride… until the watch. Great pacing and splendid twist!
May 16, 2011 at 9:40 am
I’m glad you liked it, Maria!
May 16, 2011 at 1:08 am
Oh, this is so well done. All through I was going “What the…?” The most likely answer was the groom’s family intervened and packed him off out of range of greengrocer’s daughters.
There was just the barest hint regarding the watch being unlucky – and then the accident landed front and center.
Breathtaking. Really well done.
May 16, 2011 at 9:52 am
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. ^_^
May 17, 2011 at 2:25 am
Turned blue from bloodloss and disappointment. What a tragedy of heels and proposals.
May 18, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Nice one, Icy — entertaining read, evocative details, and well-executed surprise ending (the little asides were suitably engaging but not a give away). Not necessarily the most likeable person in the world, so the ending just that bit more acceptable. Liked your use of something blue… ew.
St.
February 20, 2014 at 5:26 pm
[…] for a particularly dashing Cavalier known as Fowlis Westerby, but I’m not averse to writing corpse brides either. A few weeks ago I decided to resurrect the skeleton from the B-Movie Monster graveyard, […]
February 20, 2014 at 6:02 pm
[…] to the maintenance outage that left Blogger down, I put this week’s Friday Flash, Something Blue, over on my secondary blog – my mild OCD didn’t want me to miss a Friday […]